When Heaven and Earth Changed Places: A Vietnamese Woman's Journey from War to Peace

After Ed proposed marriage to Hayslip, she was initially torn. He would provide for her and her son, but he was old. In Vietnamese tradition, marriages should have both duyen and no. She feared that there would be no passion with Ed. Hayslip concluded, however, that young men were for “marriageable young women” (406), not unwed mothers and Viet Cong fugitives. Hayslip agreed to marry Ed Munro. Once she did so, they paid the necessary bribes to get a marriage certificate, a birth certificate for Jimmy, and adoption papers. They were extorted, paying not only a high price but also providing the Republican bureaucrats with jewels. The last hurdle was obtaining her mother’s signature on a permission slip to leave the country. Since Hayslip’s mother could not read, Hayslip told her that it was paperwork to open a bank account. Hayslip and Ed were married in a small ceremony in Vietnam.

On February 11, 1970, Hayslip gave birth to a second son, Thomas, or Chau. Even though he had two grown sons, Ed was delighted to have another. Ed returned to the US first, and Hayslip and her two sons followed. Again, they had to pay bribes to obtain a passport. She flew first from Danang to Saigon with her two sons and maid. Her maid was to return to inform Hayslip’s mother about her departure for the US. Hayslip feared her mother’s reaction and wondered if it would threaten her mother’s love for her. Finding Saigon “vicious, grasping, estranged, desperate, and dangerous” (418), Hayslip was eager to leave. She and her two sons left on a flight to Honolulu on May 27, 1970.

At her farewell dinner in 1986, Ba initially goaded her brother Bon. When asked her opinion, Hayslip condemned the use of labels for people, such as communists and capitalists. She urged her family to let go of labels and find their common humanity. By the end of the meal, the family was chatting nicely. Hayslip sobbed when departing and reluctantly yielded to the need to leave Tinh’s. On the flight from Danang back to Saigon, though, she felt exhilarated. Her family launched her into another life circle.

In the spring of 1970, Hayslip joined Ed in San Diego. By the winter of 1973, Ed had died of emphysema and Hayslip was left a widow in a foreign land. This book, however, is the story of how peasants survived. She highlights all those, both Vietnamese and American, who suffered in the war. Noting that life’s purpose is to grow, she urges them all to break the chain of revenge. Indeed, she opens the Epilogue with a tale about the evils of revenge and the importance of breaking the cycle of vengeance.

In 1987, Hayslip created the East Meets West Foundation, which began work in Vietnam on a Victims of War Center for the homeless and poor. Clinics were to emerge staffed with health professionals who were at one time invaders and now were there to help the Vietnamese.

On May 11, 2006, Buddha’s birthday, Hayslip’s mother died at the age of 102. While she had been in a hospital in Danang, her mother requested to die in her home. Hayslip and her family were there for her death. Following her death, her family followed all the rituals and ceremonies of Buddhism. Anh was allowed to participate in the ceremony as a son-in-law.