They Went Left

“That’s the biggest reason we are still in hospital. Our minds are soft. Confused.”

Memory and Trauma are referred to; the women are traumatized, hurt, and exhausted, and this has affected their grasp on reality. They remain in hospital months after the liberation, still recovering their minds from the onslaught of horrific images and memories they witnessed and experienced in the concentration camps.

“Because everyone else: Papa, Mama, Baba Rose, beautiful Aunt Maja—all of them, all of them, as the population of Sosnowiec was devastated—they went left.”

Zofia remembers the death of almost her entire family in the gas chambers at Auschwitz-Birkenau; going left meant going to the gas chambers, whereas going in the line to the right meant being chosen for factory work or hard labor. Antisemitic genocide, part of the broader theme, Antisemitic Violence, Genocide, and Displacement During and After World War II, is referred to in these tragic deaths.

“What she’s doing is sweeping pebbles into a dustpan, then emptying the dustpan into a bin, and behind her is nothing. Rubble. The waist-high remnants of a brick structure, the vaguest hint of a doorway. It could be new rubble, from the Allies, or old, from the Germans.”

The destruction of Poland is characterized by the rubble of the destroyed building. The futility of the old woman cleaning the stoop on her utterly destroyed house illustrates the difficulty of recovering lives, homes, and livelihoods in the aftermath of the war, with much of Europe completely decimated.

“Broken wagon wheels, upturned yokes, milk cans with rusted-out bottoms. Each item is a family that couldn’t walk any farther before they were stopped, or—Stop it, I tell myself, trying to break the loop.”

Zofia sees discarded possessions and thinks of families who stopped, exhausted, or were killed. She tries to stop herself from thinking of the fact that the possessions may have been owned by people who were murdered, illustrating the fact that Zofia’s mind feels unpredictable and dangerous to her; she avoids following her thoughts down distressing tracks as much as possible. This quote alludes to the theme of Memory and Trauma.

“There was a story in his jacket the day we all went to the soccer stadium. It was a birthday gift from me to him, my best work yet. The story of our family, told in the alphabet: A is for Abek. B is for Baba Rose.”

Zofia remembers the message she embroidered into Abek’s jacket on the day they were sorted and sent to Auschwitz-Birkenau. This message becomes important, as it is discovered by Lukasz, which motivates him to find the loving older sister who made it. It also provides ample information for Lukasz to pretend knowledge of the Lederman family for a time.

“On the commander’s plate, a piece of meat, mostly gristle, which he must have discretely spit out. It’s blobby and chewed there on the plate, swimming in congealed tomato. I stare at it for a minute, nauseated. But then I’m putting those desiccated morsels into my own mouth. Scrapping my finger along the tin, not even bothering to use a fork. I am revolted by myself but also starving, or remembering what it was to be starving.”

Even though the scraps repulse her, Zofia ravenously eats them, remembering the feeling of being starving. Memory and Trauma is signaled as an important theme here; Zofia is haunted and traumatized by the memories of the concentration camp and finds it difficult to revert to “normal” behavior.

“I can tell when the train crosses the border into Germany, because here, the same rolling hills become scorched and scarred. The green farmland is interrupted by angry black gashes cutting open the earth.”

The extent of the destruction of post-war Europe is elucidated in Zofia’s travels from Poland to Germany. The evidence of Allied bombing in Germany is characterized by the scorched and scarred earth. The reader is reminded that the horror and violence of the war happened very recently.

“‘I don’t like trains anymore,’ he said to me. ‘I don’t, either.’”

The brief interaction Zofia has with the kind stranger on the train reminds readers that so many Jews and other Nazi prisoners across Europe, recently liberated, are struggling with their own post-traumatic stress. It is implied that the man, like Zofia, was taken on a train to a concentration camp.

“Mr. Mueller frees one of his arms. He draws it back and, his thumb and index finger masking the shape of an L, slams his hand into the bigger man’s windpipe. Watching him, something pushes in my brain. A thought, a memory, trying to break through my spiraling, to bring me back to myself. Mr. Mueller. Sosnowiec in the summer. Hear, the hottest days, standing in lines. My father.”

Zofia watches Josef strike Rudolf and is struck with a memory that she can’t quite recall. The italicized text illustrates her partially recalling a repressed memory. This alludes to Zofia eventually remembering the encounter when her father is killed. This is the clue that allows Zofia to realize that Josef was a Nazi soldier during the war.

“I am choosing to love the person in front of me.”

The Power of Love in Bringing Happiness and Redemption is introduced as an important theme through Breine, who chooses to marry Chaim even though she has only known him briefly and even though they are both struggling with grief over the deaths of their previous fiancées and their families. Breine takes all of this devastating trauma as inspiration to choose to prioritize and pursue love.

“She smoothed back my hair with them; she used them to mop Abek’s brow. I know this happened. I know this is a true memory. What happened next? I push a little further. My hands start to shake. My head is pulsing. The monster at the door is stirring; I don’t want to push anymore.”

Memory and Trauma is referred to in Zofia’s memory of her mother, prompted by the gloves in the donation bin. This anecdote illustrates how dangerous memories feel to Zofia; she knows that terrifying truths lie in these memories, which she is not ready to confront. This quote alludes to the true nature of Abek’s death, which Zofia eventually remembers.

“Sister Therese lifts up a corner of his quilt and shows me the mattress below. It’s been sliced open, and inside, what at first look like rocks are actually lumps of bread. ‘He’s afraid there won’t be more,’ she whispers. ‘They’re always afraid there won’t be more.’”

Memory and Trauma is referred to in the fear of the boys; they have spent years close to starvation, and now they have trouble trusting that the food will continue to be provided at the orphanage. This anecdote is similar to Zofia’s voracious eating of the scraps from her guests’ plates in Sosnowiec; it is difficult to stop living fearfully when fear and pain have epitomized one’s life for years in concentration camps. The reader is positioned to feel compassion for the fearful boy who hides the bread in his mattress.

“Hannelore’s mother, Inge, was beautiful enough to be a film star. But when I looked at that photograph, I could think only of another woman named Inge, a nothing-girl from the hospital who wasn’t beautiful. Who was covered in scabs, and whose teeth and hair had mostly fallen out.”

Although Zofia understands that it is unlikely that Hannelore’s mother is the same Inge who spoke of her daughter in the hospital, she is haunted by the idea that it could be, especially because this woman died by suicide jumping out the hospital window. Zofia is overwhelmed and devastated by the extent of suffering she continues to encounter. Monica Hesse continues to remind her readers that heartbreak and trauma were ongoing for the survivors of World War II, particularly for those who were connected to the concentration camps.

“The boy finds my eyes. ‘Zofia, is that you?’ he says. ‘Abek?’ I say, and my world falls into place.”

Tension has been building toward the reunion of Abek and Zofia. Abek’s identity seems confirmed by the fact that he seems to be searching for Zofia and seems to recognize her. Zofia’s feeling of completion and elation is characterized by the feeling that her world “falls into place” when she is reunited with her brother. These feelings lead Zofia to continue to delude herself for a time, and to shield her mind from the memory of Abek’s death.

“‘The prince’s name, it started with a D? I’m sure you remember.’ ‘I really don’t.’ My brother shifts uncomfortably on the bed. His face has turned red.”

This piece of family knowledge is a clue to Abek’s real identity. Abek cannot remember the character from the fairy tale; his discomfort and embarrassment are actually clues that he is not Abek, and he fears that his real identity will be revealed. Later, Abek finds the prince’s name in a fairy tale book, which comforts and reassures Zofia until she finds the book in the library.

“And now, when I get to the part about the turnip, he starts to shake his head. ‘No, No, I did find it,’ he says. ‘The turnip.’”

Zofia’s efforts to recall the real events in the concentration camps concerning Abek are frustrated by Lukasz’s lies; Lukasz seeks to sure up his own false identity as Abek by confirming and elaborating on some of Zofia’s false memories. Memory and Trauma continues to function as an important theme in Zofia’s inability to recall the real events of Abek’s death.

“I haven’t been to a wedding in years, not since before the Germans invaded. But when the rabbi reaches the Seven Blessings, I find myself nodding along to the Hebrew words I didn’t know I remembered.”

Breine and Chaim’s wedding is an important symbol of Jewish resilience. It is a declaration that love, happiness, and Jewish identity and belief systems will continue despite the attempt of genocide by Germany. It is symbolic that Zofia hasn’t attended a wedding since before the German invasion; Germany attempted to destroy and suppress Jewishness, and now that they have been defeated, it has reemerged.

“‘I only have eight toes,’ I blurt out. ‘What?’ ‘Eight. At the hospital, two of them were too frostbitten to save. If my shoes come off—I didn’t want you to be repulsed if you saw my feet.’”

Zofia’s damaged body is a symbol of Nazi violence. She is self-conscious of her missing toes, her wounds, scars, and skinniness, which denote her as a victim and a prisoner. Through the act of having sex with Josef, Zofia is able to recast her body as something deserving of giving and receiving love rather than just a damaged thing.

“He puts his lips on my stomach, and I run my hands through his hair. I kiss the top of his head, and we remember that we are alive.”

Sex is a humanizing experience for both Zofia and Josef, who were both dehumanized through the war. For Zofia especially, she reconnects with the part of her body that feels sensual pleasure and excitement; for years, her body had been reduced to a thing that only felt pain and discomfort. The theme The Power of Love in Bringing Happiness and Redemption is referred to in this sexual encounter and the peace and happiness it brings both characters.

“‘Well, we could go back to Sosnowiec right now,’ I say slowly. ‘That’s the first option. It’s what I’ve always assumed we would do. We could live in our own apartment, and we could try find our old friends. Do you remember your old room? I know Gosia would like to see you, and—’ ‘What else?’ he interrupts.”

Abek quickly interrupts the suggestion that they could return to their apartment in Sosnowiec. This is a clue to the boy’s real identity, as going to Sosnowiec would reveal the massive gaps in his knowledge of the city he alleges he grew up in.

“Abek couldn’t remember the prince’s name. Until he could. Until out of nowhere, he said he suddenly remembered after all: The prince’s name was Dobrotek. And I was so happy. I took that memory as a sign. I took that memory to mean something important.”

Zofia is disturbed to find the fairy tale “The Whirlwind” in a book of Polish fairy tales in the camp’s library. This casts doubt over the fact that Abek suddenly remembered the character’s name from their childhood and further establishes Zofia’s doubt over Abek’s identity.

“I bunched it up in my hands. I started to tell his favorite stories. I put the jacket over his nose and mouth. He didn’t struggle. He wasn’t conscious anymore. I don’t know if he was alive anymore. He might have gone already; he was so still, I could no longer see his chest rise and fall.”

Finally, Zofia remembers suffocating her dying brother on the train on the way to Auschwitz-Birkenau. This memory confirms the fact that the boy calling himself Abek is not actually Abek. Memory and Trauma continues to function as an important theme in the memories that Zofia can and cannot recall as she slowly recovers from her years of imprisonment.

“Someone would have had to undress him, to take and sort those clothes. Another prisoner. Another prisoner who was also a little boy. My brother was gone, but in the end, his story wasn’t.”

Zofia’s choice to treat Lukasz’s damaging choice with empathy and compassion is foreshadowed in her acknowledgment that he, too, like Abek, was just “a little boy.” This phrasing emphasizes Lukasz’s vulnerability. Zofia chooses to view his dishonesty as the desperation of a lonely and traumatized boy and accepts him as her family even though he is not really Abek.